This is in the pre-Charlie era, right when we were getting serious about actually doing more than rap music. Kinda hard to tell when the Charlie era began, because even though she changed a lot of the sound, we still sound the same. We'll still do the same styles of music, but with her here we do MORE styles now. All wins.
Anyways, we were still pretty new and experimenting around this time. It's got a raw, almost basement lo-fi funk blues boom bap inspired sound maybe. I diggs it. Listening to a lot of Slikk's records and stuff i got a chance to explore sounds. I tried something out, a new way of expressing, and folks dug it. Felt good. It opens you up. As an artist, and i ain't no singer by any means, but just as an artist, writing n stuff... there's a lot of vulnerability. You're putting a lot out there on the line, leaving a lot on the stage as it's been said. Sometimes when i get done writing, or even halfway thru, i'll just have to stop and think about it like, "This is pretty deep. It's saying some stuff that might mess with some things and folks..." but at the same time, that pain you feel writing it is the same pain someone else feels every day, and they're gonna have it and not know what to do with it until they hear your song. Y'alls hold hands with that song. That song is the shoulder, or the arm around the waist. Vulnerable, but if humanity ain't worth expressing, then it'll be dead and gone pretty quick. A lot of folks are sensitive to judgments and all that. Folks are always gonna do that. Just think about the song that got you thru. Fuck everyone else and their shit talk. Folks been talking shit since they figured out how to think they was thinking. It's not about them, it's about the ones you reach.
About me not being a singer... meh. Whatever. I never tried really. Now and then it comes off great, but i'm always like, "Word?" Oh well, to each their own. We're growing all the time, dig me? I think it was Charlie Mingus who said, "Whenever i'm at my instrument i'm at practice..." --something like that. That's a dope philosophy. We do stuff and keep it "US", you know? Like, we don't try to sound like nobody, we don't care to. We have influences, yeah, but you gotta be the rawest you you can be. How else is anyone gonna learn to appreciate YOU if you tryna sound like someone who's already out? Sales? Ppffft... they come and go, man. You'll be the talk one day, and the same day, "Who is that?" I'd rather not be known at all, honestly... gives me more freedom to move around. No engraven images, dig? People want an image to look to because they can't find it in themselves. Part of the reason our style comes off how it do is because we want folks to hear it... understand it... and honestly have a moment where they're like, "This is sincere, fun... and dope. But i could do waaay better. Wait, what the heck? How'd they do that. Yeah, i can do this." AND THEN DO IT. We had no lessons, well, me anyways. No, i don't think nobody else here did either. Pretty sure of it. Nope, no lessons. All self taught except some of the production stuff we learned from friends in bands and groups, and whatever musical tips and tricks we got from hearing bands and then going up to them after their set like, "Yo, how'd you do that?" Right there? A LOT of that fake image crap goes out the window. Have a few beers with a band you admire. Maaaaan, they might be looking up to YOU at the end of the night. Regular people with everyday problems. Especially at dive bars.
I seen people not give me the time of day... until i got on stage. You don't do it for them. I mean, yeah, i'mma take that beer you got me, but you're fake. You like IMAGES of people, you don't like people. A lot of folks are hollow. There's a void in everyone, i diggs that, but a lot of folks, man, are just empty. That's why all the posts. That's why all the IG and all that crap. How you got social media, but not to socialize???? Just to repost for attention, and toss whatever "look at my empty living" food pics and all that. Folks crave attention. Spirits are the same. Maybe the human spirit is getting greedy like some of the others. Maybe that's why all the trouble. Supreme Being gonna but that Godly smackdown if mofo's don't get it in check. Music is a tool we have to fill that hole for as long as it'll hold. Try to fill it with something worth it. You don't want to dump acid down your hole, man. That's just not kosher.
Anyways, this song... diggs it, so Slikk would let me borrow his guitar and learn to play-- neither one of us took lessons, like i was saying, other than just, like, watching and listening to folks live and on records, like tryna match what they was doing and then growing from there ...hands on stuff. It was dope, man, i really really dug it. There's the vulnerable thing there, which should be understood and appreciated but it gets twisted. Like, ok, dig, folks will be just starting out, making music with what they have, all from the gut, dig me? That's why we dig Punk and Hip Hop so much, it came from the people's need for the art, their expression however they could. And they put their self out there. Honestly... thinking about it, this may be the first song that i wrote and sang. Wrote lots of songs... mostly all rap. Not a lot of singing. Maybe some background stuff, but never wrote and sang a whole song, and played some of the instruments. If the crew wasn't there?!? Oh man. Slikk and Byrdo and Tyy sitting around in a cramped room, i steps up to the mic... i was with people who KNOW me. Folks who GET me, so there was no awkward feelings... until i heard me in the headphones with the music playing back... like as i was singing i could hear myself! It's a trippy thing man. But yeah, being in the right space mentally, physically,, spiritually, emotionally, with the right people too? All musical experiences should be like that. Byrdo goes, "Hey man, just sing the song. Don't worry about YOU singing the song. You just sing the song. Folks don't know what it's supposed to do anyways, so whatever you do is magic." Still tho... the expression of the lyrics... Vulnerable. Right setup tho, you open up, and like i said, its dope. It's a great experience. One of the best. Besides having someone enjoy it and get it too, or even more, thank you for doing it... which has happened, and it was a little awkward. Haha.
But you get some folks, new to the whole thing, never set foot in front of a mic before so that's awkward... never played or did anything with a group of people you have to keep time with and keep your emotions AND EGO in check for the sake of expressing THE SONG and not THE SELF, dig me? And on top of that, folks are gonna stifle you just as you start to gel because of some music theory crap? ITS A THEORY. A theory is a thought. Work your own theory, it's your own music, ain't it?! A lotta folks hear stuff we play, like folks who "know music", right, and they're all... "Man, this... this sounds cool. How'd you... wait, you can't do that?! That note is off! That timing doesn't go with that style or genre'..." and we're like... but there it is. And you like it. So JUST LIKE IT. And that's it. The first person to play guitar didn't take lessons. The first drummer's timing was their own. They just made music. Every legend has a whole nation of people who never heard of them, but their local kid?? In the hut? Back there in the alley? The one where people cross the street when they see 'em?? THAT KID is gonna revolutionize music!!! Embrace that kid. Show them what you can, but let them be them. If folks told Hendrix, "Naw man, you gotta play with your right hand or just put the guitar down." and he listened to them???? People would still think Elvis is all that. OOOOOH!! Shots fired.
Anyways, this song is from where we all were exploring and in that UNRESTRICTED. Being exposed to new sounds, styles... finding our self. All artists need that space. Seriously. It was pre-Chuckers, haha, I think this was right around the time we did "Ms. LadyMa'am". So it was right before "Motivate" where Charlie came in. I guess you could say this was on the Jhayde Cusp. Or not, cause yeah, that sounded pretty dumb, don't say that...we're not gonna say that. Aw man, back in the day.... We had a bunch of stuff that's just GONE now. Computers die, disk drives change formatting, some stuff just deletes its self... happens! Always has. Just pushes you to make more. Make an even cooler one, or just a DIFFERENT one if you can't re-create the one you did before. Songs re alive. If you're playing the same thing every time you're dead. It's EXPRESSION. If you haven't grown and can do the same thing the same way and call it expressing your self? The Matrix has won. Humanity is a robot. And I'm not talking about like Ringo playing the same rythm to set a record... and if you ask me, Dude, Ringo is the Narrator on Teletubbies. I don't care what anyone says. Like Safe Drivers Save 40%??!! It's him. He's totally the guy. C'MON MAN!?!?!?! Whatever, but moreso how Clapton did ONE Layla, and then the OTHER Layla. And to this day, we'll go head to head about which one is "better". They're both just different. And the even funnier part is... we'll switch sides in the argument! First someone will like the hyper hard rock one, then switch to the easier going one... then switch back. We do the same thing with Stanley Clarke's Lopsy Lu and Workin' Man. Music is as alive as us, but its just chained to the point where they recorded it. You shouldn't be chained to points like that. Anyways, raise a glass to all the songs we lost. Sad. But i'm glad we still have this one. One of my faves, and it's my first little dance in that brutal honest and vulnerable space, ya know? Speaking your mind is.... yes. AND always.
The pic? Trippy aye? Dig it, that black dot is the sun. Real talk. Pointed the camera at the water back there, the sun was in the shot, saw the bright ball in the camera, but when the shot was taken? the sun blacked out. SOUNDGARDEN WAS RIGHT! Hashtag that shit.
Lyrics:
[verse 1] cranking up the volume till i'm blown away past the roof and sirens to some other place residing in the silence of this getaway no matter how chaotic reality is.. it fades away here i sit, trying not to shake as my life slowly dissipates surrounded till drowning in senselessness i stray from the smiles of younger dayz searching for something to replace... i'm needing something more growing restless now feels like nothing's gonna hold me down from the suburbs to the pissy heartless grit downtown under streetlights and bars and acoustic sounds i lay felt both the beast in me and humanity at war, forever torn unless i drift aimlessly pointing me to time killers and destiny while the smile of younger dayz seem to be more and more a dream [bridge] missing the hold of distractions and addictions the depth of my prayers pain and power positions seems i'm drifting, spinning no more the innocence when young who am i to become to survive this ain't living, story of my life joined by smiles and dev'lish grins to kill time trying to find and free me find a dream round and round it goes and at the end here i am again [verse 2] cranking up the volume till i'm blown away past the roof and sirens to some other place residing in the silence of this getaway no matter how chaotic reality is... it fades away here i sit, trying not to shake as my life slowly dissipates surrounded till drowning in senselessness i stray from the smiles of younger dayz searching for something to replace... (this is my favorite part) i need some room to breathe and be me and so i disappear tonight seems recently i've been kinda less inclined to sleep but more deceased no matter how hard i try--- can't seem to be me so if you feel you're up to running wild you've got my number plus we share a style sometimes to live you gotta go outside of the smiles of your younger dayz searching for us in this place
The Zephaniah Chesterfield Project drums: Flyy Tyy bass: B. Slikk (Bearnard) vox/guitar: Zephaniah Chesterfield
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