Yeah man, no spellcheck in the raw with the pen. I don't know how many words i've made up over the course of time. Of course, all words were made up. Everything that ixists is made up of something. Words are just made up of intentions that produced sounds, and those sounds given characters that got labeled letters. That sound was repeated until that gesture became a known way of expressing that intention. Yes, this happens over the course of time, which is non ixistent, given that the only frame of time that exists truthfully is right now, which is always here. It can't be gone because then it would be in two places at once, which is not possible here and now. In anycase....
I wanna say this was written in maybe 2010 or so?
moment of silence
"no solace in the silence
but still i chill
watching the world spin, still
feeling for the lack of them
increasing the void
paranoid at my becoming
while the nothing creates chains of liberty
silly me
or is it woe?
who cares, wherever they go
playing these cards in a corner
and then back to the show..."
Ah what the heck. Let's dive into this one, eh? Ain't much else going on.... "no solace in the silence - no peace in the moment, as quiet as it is. Also no peace in being quiet about it. It's chasing a dream. Like when you're quiet, but turbulent underneath....
but still i chill - because what else is there to do?...
watching the world spin, still - meaning, still watching the world spin, and also watching the world spin until it's just one still shot. You notice all of the trends and patterns, things repeating in time, it's all the same game. Nothing new. It's fake... a game. No progression. No motion...
feeling for the lack of them - feeling the lack of feelings...
increasing the void - makes you have more empty. Not emptiness, because that is a state of you. You're always changing so you don't have emptiness, but you do have "empty", an idea, an ideal of space and detachment. The void is not something in you, but something between you. If that makes any sense...
paranoid at my becoming - paranoid at becoming paranoid, as well as paranoid from understanding. Ignorance is bliss sometimes. The more self you create, the more mind you make, the further you put your self into a box... string yourself out on a rope kinda....
while the nothing creates chains of liberty - while the void gives reasons and links to liberty. Everything comes from lack, so the void gives the space to draw from inside you things to allow you to free and be your self. Also, the flip of that, once you gain links to liberty, you're chained to those ways, they're not so freeing anymore. After a while, nothing creates chains of liberty.
silly me
or is it woe?
who cares, wherever they go - you only go in circles in your mind. Wherever you go, there you are, so whatever state of being you focus on being, you put your self there and will go somewhere else. You never stop moving. Even when going in circles you're not sitting still in the mind, and the mind takes your being with it. So, who really cares where they go. You'll just go there and then somewhere else in time.
playing these cards in a corner - playing with frames of mind with your back to the illusion of free space, in a corner. Also playing with different faces, ways of expressing, while in limbo "The Corner" or between realities, because every face or way of being you put on is a new reality. Being happy is one reality in its moment. Then being complacent is another in it's moment. Then being unsure but not confused is another.
and then back to the show..." - and then back to just being your self. Blind to it at times, which is a little more liberating than conscious of it. The more self conscious one becomes, the more division there is. The more problems there are. The more complicated. At the height of consciousness is the lack of it, which is just simple natural being, no thought, no trying to be.... just be. No worries. But you'd have to understand you to be you that freely, without worry.
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