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Writer's picturezephaniah chesterfield

poem: Angel Smoke

Updated: Jul 19, 2020

Wrote this in the bathroom of a plane, so, i guess you could say i was high when i wrote this. Anyways, no it wasn't glowing when i wrote it. I wrote it on a regular piece of paper. I'll usually keep folded up paper in one of my pockets.... i dig on them BDUs, OD green or black... have a few different color camo tho. Yeah, i use the pockets, looks sloppy to the code, but i like pockets because i like to put stuff in my friggin pockets, so.... The tricky part is the pen. The paper makes it usually, even when it rains and i get caught in it, the paper might hold up. The pens however, get a little heated and sometimes pop before i can get anything out of my head. Then you have to go thru that whole process of trying to scoop ink into the little cup so it trickles into the ball on the ball point. Something about those clear bic pens... if i'm gonna write, i prefer those. I remember being in grade schools, when i was in them, kicked out of some schools, shit happens, anyways, being in grade school and high school and taking those pens with the answers to tests, writing the answers really small, and slipping it into the clear part of the pen right where your hand hides it when you write.... passed a few tests that way. It's only cheating if you're gonna use it later in life and didn't learn it. You cheated yourself. It's not cheating because you're unable to use it when you had the opportunity to learn. Pass the test when you have to pass it, and learn what you have to learn when you have to learn it. Sometimes to pass a test all you need are the answers, not to learn the answers, but to just know them. When it comes time to do the job you learn it or know it, but even if you know it, you'll learn another way when you do it. Some folks have so many book smarts they're cheating their self. They think... that they know... but have never done. Difference between knowledge, understanding, and wisdom. Whatever tho. Pens. If i'm gonna sketch something, then pilot pens. Pilot pens are too good of a pen to write with tho... to me anyways. But yeah, crap in my pockets... there's a lot. Multi tools, check, flashlight, check, one's got a plastic spork... best of both worlds. When getting on planes i keep all my stuff in a ziplock bag in my pocket, so it's all already bunched together. Then i just pull out the whole bag and slap it in that collection plate so they can go grope my junk, or even better i get the lucky random pick to sit in the box and look like a terrorist.... because all clowns must have body massages before getting on planes, or else we'll sit funny.


Anyways, in the bathroom of an airplane. Sometimes you can't just write in that cramped-arse "seat" you overpaid for. If you're in the window you get the view but you better stay seated the whole flight. If you get the isle, stay tucked in so the carts don't crack you, and you'll be dealing with everyone looking at you, bumping you... which you'd think, if they made the seats smaller, at least leave the isles alone. It's not like the runway or gates got smaller so they had to shrink the plane so it fits in it's lane. If you're in the middle, you get the window then the window person wants the window, you get access to the isle easier, but you're gonna have to tuck your elbows into your crotch because you have no armrests, and it'll do you some good to lose 20 lbs. That's if you weight 40 lbs or more. Other than that, if the person on whatever side isn't drooling on you, then you seem "rude" minding your own business, with your little book or paper or whatever else writing, without them nosing in asking "what are you writing about?" without really caring, but most times to make small talk and not be rude because they're looking at you awake writing, and them just sitting there with time to kill. Now, if folks are genuinely interested, and don't come with all of the "what you should do"s and "you ever think of"s.... like actually listen to you instead of just hearing you explain what you're doing and why, so they actually understand you more since that's what they're really asking... then i'll share. Other than that, i've been amusement for plenty of folks... been a time kill, something interesting to forget about a few hours after the flight. Not to be dehumanizing like a vast majority of things you've come to accept, not necessarily believe but just accept, as the way things are...but i respect my self, and writing, and the relationship between those two things in privacy as not to kill the vibe. It's as simple as having a conversation with your self, and then someone else butting in and changing the direction. You only figure out your reaction to them, not your reaction to the initial train of thought. That train is derailed, or held up, and the moment, the vibe, the energy of the present is shifted. It's not such a big deal unless you don't ever get that thought back, which you can, you just have to lose your mind a little and slip onto the level of information you were previously on so your vibe is in sync with the vibe of that information and the same mental place and space you were in before... like going back to the same store, and then to the same isle, and then to the same section of that isle, sooner or later you'll see what you were there for but forgot about... it'll come to you, or you come to it, or both just meet. Spirit of thought and understanding work like that sometimes. It's easy. Don't think, just know kinda thing. Anyways, yeah, if it's truly all good then i'll be in my own comfortable zone to write, and in that, having the right materials and tools, the right space, amount of comfort or discomfort, and privacy... then i'll write there in the seat. Other than that, i'll keep it all in my head or go to the bathroom and write it down. There's more keeping it in my head than anything. All the more reason to just shift levels to travel, but sometimes you get lazy and don't feel like having spirits and things trying to mooch and suck you dry and all that focus grabbing shit... it's a hassle a lot of times. Things wanting to slip thru where you just came thru.... things just slipping thru by accident, like those stories of folks who fell thru walls and ended up in palaces in another country, or cities of jinn and how they'll fuck with you in this dimension because the cross is so strong there... all that shit is annoying. Sometimes you don't want to deal with rips and splits and their bullshits, so you just get your arse on the friggin plane. Especially if it was paid for. Why not.


So, yeah, wrote this in the bathroom of an airplane, while in the air. Can't remember where i was coming from, or going to, but there it is. I'm thinking that i was probably going back to Philly or coming from Philly. To where? You got me. I remember one, yes another story... i remember this one flight i was on, this guy died in the bathroom. Real shit. Don't know what happened. We landed and there was a long delay of letting us off, and the captain got on the com, "We know some of you might have heard some talk about a passenger getting sick... well we did lose someone while in transit/in the air, and so we just ask everyone to stay calm, the police have to d some investigation, you'll be off shortly...." I think dude didn't have his meds or something like that. Died right in the bathroom. They kept him in there too. Funny thing, ok, so yeah, i was coming TO Philly.... and then on the flight LEAVING Philly about a week later, i was on the same flight number, with the same size number plane. I didn't go to the bathroom. Not saying it was the same plane, but everything says it was. I dunno. I don't know the vin number of the plane, so..... I was thinking tho, like... Ok, so, you die in the air... so would they have to determine how long the flight was, how long you were in the bathroom when you died, like when you died in the bathroom, and then which route you flew... to determine where you died, like, what state you were in? Or is it just "you died on the plane" on the death certificate or place and time of death? If you did end up in Philly, but were coming from CA or AZ, but died over like NC, would the NC police have to be contacted, or is that an Air Marshall deal? I'm thinking Airport Police. There's a church in a few airports, so could you actually give a person last rights? I dunno... my brain goes places, man. Did the guy leave a mess? Like pills and maybe something in the toilet? What if some flight attendant stole their pills, like, "meh, they're dead. they won't miss two percs." Places.... my mind... it goes... Anyways, yeah, wrote this in the bathroom of a plane. It's a poem kinda. What isn't!? Anyways, that scene described i've seen all too many times. So.... yeah...


ANGEL SMOKE

"saw and angel & a devil sharing a smoke

on a curb, moon high

diggin on how the starz glo

talkin bout how love and money work

angel says, "love has more worth"

devil laughs cause we kill 4 both

but money's the only thing we can all smoke

funny how days burn down, while love

just sits there crying for what $ screwed up

money on the other hand just wants 2b

left alone 2 love like you and me"


"angel smoke" - the zephaniah chesterfield project









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